OOOOH *

It all started with a journey of self-discovery I didn't plan to take. I thought I was okay to settle, to remain steady, to be at one safe place because I was too damn scared to take risks. I kept suppressing it for a while because I thought it was the easiest way. I secretly knew I always had it but I needed validation. LS wasn't exactly the best place to discover that talent. I even thought LS killed that.

Somehow my view of the world changed through experience. I had to take in everything for as long as I can. In this life, you will meet different people and be in different situations. All these must go somewhere like in a database of inspiration (whether or not it's the kind of inspiration that you like). Take in everything and the challenge is to transform them to something. NOTE TO SELF: Take in. Transform.

I am still amazed where this self-discovery is taking me. I did a very unexpected turn in my life which I'm sure made certain people unhappy. I just needed the balls to finally quit, to just finally stop trying too damn hard for it. Believe me every now and then I'm reminded of the biggest mistake in my life. It was probably my biggest and life-changing one but it was a mistake I had to make and I am glad I did.

I still feel shit sometimes when bouts of regret kick in. I begin to doubt my decision if it was worth throwing it all away. I just need to constantly remind myself that nothing in this life is wasted once they're in my database of inspiration (DOI).

So let's rock and roll, keep the creative energy going until you're so full of it you just wanna explode and take off. I could have not done it without the people who believed in me. You guys are in my DOI. M deserves special credit, because without her I would have jumped from being rational to impulsive in a snap. I still have hangover from our recent shoot so forgive me.

Well life... you're really a bitch sometimes, but you rock!