I was the girl who never wanted to be in law school. I struggled to death to love it. One day I woke up loving it and dreading the day I'd be out of it. The lawmonster just did it and there came shatterday. I was finally ready to embrace my fate until one fateful day. In between my insecurity and all, I was reunited with my first love - fashion. The love was always there but I tried to supress it. I thought I will never ever make it bcos I have to follow someone's footsteps. I had to recreate someone's ambition. No matter what I do anyway, I will have to end up being a lawyer (against my will).
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I thought my dreams could wait. But there were days that these things can no longer hold back. People know I always have two sides. Fashion and law complemented the safe and adventurous side of me.
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Looking back I have NO REGRETS. There were decisions I have made in the past and that remains to be in the past. Chaos and uncertainty brought me joy in a painful way. The past two years I have observed these people. They were the ones who fed on one's passion and madness. At one point, I was also a flesheater. There were days I let them devour my tired soul. The experience was so crazy only a fellow law student could understand. But I have no regrets.
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The law school experience sucked up most of my creative juices. But then again I became hungrier to create. Right now there is work here and there. But I have yet to get a real job since I miss routine.
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In between hundreds of pages of cases and laws, I trained my eye to look for beauty in everything. It was one big fabulous immersion. At lease my hazy gaze is clearer now. I don't want another 2 years of another "what ifs". I thought I should be further along now if I didn't quit my retail job. If it doesn't work for a year, then fine... I'll go back and get my degree.
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There is so much work to be done. There is improvement to be done. Today I will get things done. (At the end of the day I thank my TEAM for believing in me. There is some random insanity up in my head but heck. Chaos is always beautiful.)
:)
P.S. My styling lookbook is in progress. It is not yet fantastic but it's beginning to look like something!
1 comment:
jen, balita?
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