THE GODS WILL BE ENVIOUS *

Lawschool was one big emotional rollercoaster. There are nights that I cry until my eyes hurt especially when it's crunch time. I never finish all the cases so I rely on luck. As I am one lucky lucky star as the index cards are shuffled for recitation I hear my surname. (F*ck. 500,000 heartbeats. All the swear words in my head!!!) My eyes roll and I give that half pout/half smile. I never bluff my way out of recitations. Some guys actually invent facts of the case from nowhere. When I am not prepared I simply say "I do not know the answer". The professor gives me a 65 and encircles my grade with all glory. I will never be prepared enough. There are days I don't feel like reciting. There are days that I loiter around Manila finding inspiration. There are days that I don't go to school and declare "shopping day" for clothes I never wear (I have that fugly uniform!). I go to my "buying trips" for stuff I won't use. Shopping kept me insane and sane at the same time. Then there were nights that alcohol became my only friend. I keep telling myself I found my alcohol abuse in lawschool. It was the only substance that kept us alive in between competition and madness.

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Lawschool is one of the loneliest places on earth. I saw how our section decreased in size and substance. The funny and the cute guys left early on in first year. It was tough holding on when there's a true test of physical, mental and emotional endurance. There were flesheaters and people who sold their flesh to the devil.(At least I know I AM NOT ONE OF THEM). Haaay.

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At this point I am so confused bcos I've established a life outside of lawschool. I know when I go the gods back there will be envious for I am finally free. :)