MY CHEERING SQUAD
Back me up, when you think I'm falling. It's crazy. I'm feeling so restless. Somebody please smack me in the head so I can regain my sanity. I wish that I'm still with my girls so that when everything's not right, I only need a good laugh. Sometimes not even alcohol could drown your hurt. When I start digging digital files of the past, it means I'm getting soooo lonely. It's worse when I bring out my tangible photo albums. I'll be okay, I'll be okay. I couldn't wait to be okay. My thought processes are just all over the place.
It feels sad that I'm all locked up in the four walls of my classroom. (I'm so PMSing again.) I couldn't help it. I'm soooo drained by the environment. The only thing that keeps me company these days is my camera. Gosh! Sometimes I don't even want to go to school anymore. I just take my bag and go around Manila. Even if I'm not shooting, I just want to loiter around and unleash my inner explorer. I'm getting sooooo tired of having to deal with routine every single day. I wish I could just decide for myself. I wish I was independent. Haaaay. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm so nagkakalat. I used to have my own "core" or something like a focal point, a center, whatever. I think I lost it. I'm losing focus and that's not good. I used to be passionate about school even if I kinda faked it, but at least I had it. I used to have some sense of a "steady self" but I don't know what happened. I'm losing focus when I need it! I so need a break. I need a quiet time to be alone.I feel like watching American Beauty right now. I could watch it the entire day. Haaaay. Ngaraaaag. Ang gulo! Please shoot me.
(Manila Bay 2005)
P.S. Gusto ko ng bike. I used to be very good aka mayabang about biking. I have a battle scar under my chin bcos I fell from my bro's big bike. I miss my bike! Namiss ko lang bigla.
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