Hello Stranger *: MAMANG SORBETERO *

I can't help but be emotional sometimes especially when I had a very bad day. School's stressing out the shit in me. Sometimes I could no longer do the things I normally do. I don't even have time for me family and friends anymore. Little things affect me more than ever."Little" things seem to bother me. Like tonight, I came home from SM and I saw mamang sorbetero on his way home. I usually take pictures but I couldn't take a photo of him. I was holding two plastic bags on my left hand and an umbrella on my right. My phonecam was inside my neon pink sling bag. I stopped when I reached my place but observed mamang sorbetero as he passed infront of me. Nothing really special although I'd say this is my first time I've seen mamang sorbetero on his way home. What particularly struck me was his little kid on top of the pushcart of sorbetes.

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I wanted to offer him my umbrella bcos he only had a bucket hat as protection from the rain. His little kid wore a trucker cap. The rain wasn't that bad but it could be worse. I had a few seconds to think how I will approach them. They were still a few steps away. But I didn't know what to say so I ended up not saying anything and not offering my umbrella. :(

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I opened the door and went upstairs. I wanted to get the thought out of my head but I couldn't. This time I felt sad seeing mamang sorbetero. When I was a child, I'd be so excited when I hear his kalembang (bell?). Diba? Don't our eyes light up when we hear the icecream vendor outside our street? Tonight I saw the other side of mamang sorbetero. This is the mamang sorbetero at the end of the day.

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Manila street life sometimes leave me in a state of shit. I feel bad everytime I see these things in the streets of Manila. These things move me on so many ways and rubs me in a bad way. Sometimes it makes me feel more emotional and more stressed out from school. Law school made me so needy. That made me more susceptible to being sucked in by shit.

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Sometimes I just want to leave all my law books behind and go somewhere. I've always considered joining the Jesuits Volunteer Program (JVP) but I know I don't qualify. I'm emotionally unstable. I might not be able to handle social work.