GREAT HOMECOMING *

(Tatang Carding's funeral June 2006)

I thought people live forever. Let me share something I realized from Paolo. He once told me while he was growing up, he thought that his grandparents were going to live forever. Oo nga noh! Akala mo nga lagi lang sila nandyan. Maybe this fondness for grandparents started from their habit of making you a spoiled kid (even if you didn't grow up being spoiled by your own parents). It's painful once their gone bcos usually (in most instances) they die ahead of the pack. This becomes your first experience of death.

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This didn't happen in my case. My father died when I was 9 years old. I was only in grade four then. Looking back even if I know he died early, I'm still thankful bcos I had memories of him. It's so unfortunate not to have any single memory about your parents. My youngest memory of something dates back as early as 4 years old. If your parents die before that age, one usually does not remember anything. (This is according to my own theory.) Growing up, I knew people are meant to die somewhere, sometime. I cannot change anything about their death but one thing remains - MY LIFE WILL AND MUST GO ON WITHOUT THEM. I learned to be independent bcos I didn't want to show any sign of weakness that would worry my mom. I think I did a pretty good job in the art of faking it.

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Certainly I will not live forever. Pao and I have debunked the theory of our grandparents' immortality. Death will come to us in the most surprising ways. We must be prepared to face it. My father's death took me by suprise one rainy Thursday noon of June 23, 1994. Like Lazarus, I thought he'd rise from the morgue while I stared at him. (I was obviously waiting for a miracle!) He was totally lifeless. He was covered with a white blanket on a bed. When he arrived at our house, now in a white coffin, my mom wanted me to touch his hand when they opened the it. I remembered that I didn't want to touch his hand bcos he was just the body of my father and was no longer my father. It has been 13 long years without him but God gave me strength. Once in awhile I meet him in my dreams but I know someday we'll meet again for one great homecoming.