MARRIAGE 101 *

(photo c/o: http://www.professorsearch.com/wedding/wedding)

Before I forget this little thought: ENVY SELLS more than SEX. This is the basic ingredient for selling stuff. Consumerism rely on envy.
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I had a fashion emergency today cos I really didn't know what to wear to this wedding. I hate formal events bcos I feel I have to follow certain "rules". I hate wearing anything for the evening or formal events bcos I feel I have to be "dressier" (if there is such a thing!). Since I always have lists for everything, let me give pointers for attending weddings. I'm not a poster girl for good morals right conduct thing or etiquette or manners or whatever-you-would-want-to-call-it. I wrote this kinda bitchy list when I was so bored there at a relative's wedding.

NO-NOs please plus random tips!
> jeans (unless it's a theme party and wearing jeans would comply with the attire requirement)
> scrunchie or plastic clamp ones for the hair (please leave these at home)
> no white gowns
> don't look better than the bride
> brides please don't show up with your unglamorous self naman (I remember having to attend some ceremonial rites for some other religion and the bride arrived with no make-up and unglam hair. I'm saying this bcos I've seen the would-be-bride at my nephew's party with the same look. Parang she woke up late and got dressed with her gown with no preparations whatsoever bcos the ceremonial rites started 7 am.) If you hate make-up or dressing up, please spare this one day to look fabulously different.
> don't get too drunk at the reception
> don't show off all the bling in the world (I sat down with this woman who had matching bracelet and ring on the right hand, but had a different set for the other left hand.) I'm an advocate for EXCESSORIZING, but not to this point.
> remember to be tasteful and know the motif/theme especially when you need to comply with it (There was this ninang who was very late for the civil ceremony. The motif was red. The three ninangs who were on time (including my mom!) wore red. This not so fashionably late ninang arrived in bluegreen. WOW! Aside from the color of the dress, the material gave a sheen almost scale-like (of a fish!) and she had a fur wrap in the same color (which really looked like seaweed to me). Since being the b*tch that I am, I was snickering (discreetly!) while she walked with the entourage. Apparently this lady was talking to her brother while her mom walked and said, "Ganda ng dress talaga ni mommy!". Waaah. So she's the one responsible for this tacky dress. Die.
> arrive on time (leave the notion of Filipino time at home. Please, filipino time should b always on time!)
> no blacks for most weddings (If wedding ko puwede mag-black!)
> don't show too much skin
> don't be too comfortable and come in Havaianas or slippers. Period.
> NEVER SKIP THE WEDDING CEREMONY FOR CHURCH WEDDINGS (not unless it's against your religion)
> participate in the games, if any
> when your "heels" hurt never ever remove your shoes in public

> be nice to strangers beside you (This lady who was the one responsible for the hideous dress of her mom had bad manners pa! I don't know what happened but there were 7 chairs but the plates, napkins, etc were only good for 5. So since I was there way before she arrived, naturally I have my own space na. It's my seat na. Period. LAST: Know which glass is your glass,etc. It's so simple naman, diba? When I returned from the buffet table, my table napkin was gone!!!! But I used it na ha! I could tell she got it cos she only had gloss and I had lipstick stains on it. She used my table napkin!!!! GRABE! So I asked for the waiter to give me a table napkin and I gave this lady my infamous dagger looks! Kabaduyan is forgivable but bad manners...?