hesitant to take over the new space because I wasn’t too sure about the 12 mirror panels. Another lame excuse of mine was attachment! (It’s always about attachment, isn’t it?) Everywhere I go, I see my reflection. Not that I didn’t love what I see in the mirror but I was more afraid of seeing something else. For someone who’s so used to being alone in the house, I couldn’t sleep without the lights turned on. I never outgrew my fear of darkness. The only time I could sleep without the lights is when I’m sleeping with someone (like my roommates, so back in the condo, the lights are always turned off). But somebody had to move to that room regardless of how many excuses I had.
My old room had dainty floral and stripe patterns which was so feminine for my taste. It was a small room. For about 7 years I lived in that small room. Moving to a new room was quite a task. I had to haul my stuff and find a new place for them in the new room. My new room had zebra-print accents and a big red couch since it was a bigger one. I have a make-shift dressing room where my clothes are and a big red cabinet for all my other knickknacks. It wasn’t love at first sight but through the years, I have learned to love this new space.
I am very attached to many things which explains a lot about my emo clutter. After 21 years, I think we’re now moving to a new house. My mother has decided to let go of what she believed to be her “lucky charm”. There is so much going on once you’ve sold your car even if you don’t live in there. I could only imagine having to sell our house and “bequeath” it to the new owners.
Today, I got the first taste of it when a family checked the place. When they checked my room, I could barely say anything so I sat in my bed like a piece of shit. I am not supposed to be affected since I didn’t buy this house. It’s a just a house! It’s just a house! But no, it’s not just a house, it was our home for 21 years. At this point, I am not ready to move to a new space.
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